stretching

It's funny how God stretches you. the last two session with my personal trainer have been exhausting emotionally and physically not sure with more, and yes I said personal trainer. we have been doing some very intense stretches the last two times and I found my self prostrate and crying, first I felt like I was going to suffocate, and I can not relax into the stretch. it's one particular stretch that I can not keep it in I don't know what it is about with this position. Behind me my trainer says what ever it is let it out. It's funny as I was really stressed this week and today that I was angry and upset about somethings that I was determined that when I left work was going to have a good work out and that it was going to be physicaly hard, I was set on running the bleachers. But I got home calmed down a bit talked to a couple of friends on the phone and just chilled. When we began the workout with a walk as usual it began to rain we saw rainbows and for the first time in I don't know how long I was not excited about seeing a rainbow, in fact I was down right discontent and well unkind and sassy through out the work out. I felt like I could not do what was being asked of me and that I did not have the energy to do so. My energy lately is else where and as we went through the work out and the stretches I was thinking about how exhausted, angry, frustrated and sad I am. As all of this is releasing during my stretching it occurs to me that the reason that I wanted to do the bleachers, as if it is not obvious, is that I wanted to muscle through the pain and be distracted so that I would not have to face my spiritual pain. "It hurts doesn't it, our physical pain is often related to our emotional pain" I hear from behind me. I know this concept I am very familair with the physical manifestations of pain I see it daily, I have even heard christain docotors speak about it and how they pray with thier clients for relief. I am grateful that my trainer was there praying for me whithout knowing why I was crying and with out me knowing until later that he was praying.

It hurts when God stretches us and reveals the things that we need to let go. I think, that I get what he is trying to show me, I know for sure that he is showing me that there are things I need to let go of, and that I am not releasing them.

God keep stretching me please.