What a Night!

God surprised me last night. He revealed to me that He loves me, not that He doesn't do this daily, He also showed me that I am loved byand through my community. I was commissioned as a member of my church last night I excepted to go it alone like I tend to do with big things in my life. Example my baptism I was desperate to not be alone and yet those who could come came late. I was kind of down playing the whole thing not wanting too much attention and recognition. To me it was not about me and it did not seem to me that my role in the church would be different. I think I did this to protect me from feeling alone, if it was not a big deal then I would not have to celebrate by myself.
I knew that the people that I asked and I wanted there could not be there. When I say alone I don't mean entirely, of course there were going to be people there. I was surprised by one of the ladies in my small group coming prepared to speak and to share on behave of one of the other members of the group. I was given hugs and flowers from another member of the church that I have gone to Africa with; she also spoke words of affirmation and love. The most surprising and special thing that happened was my friend who could not be there because of work sent her voice recorder with another friend and had it played for the entire room to hear. This friend has gone through a lot lately and I feel blessed to have been able to be there for her, but even in her difficulty she found the grace to love me and lift me up to God and the community. This was so special and that our friend was bold enough to stand in the pile of people holding the recorder to the mic. To top it all I got to be commissioned along side a very close friend and share this night with him.
It was a great night as eight of us were commission I got to hear about others and what they have done to serve God and the church and a little of their stories, how they have affected other's lives through the love of Jesus.
After all was said and done I felt refreshed and new ready to love the world as Christ commands us to.

I refaced one of the greatest challenges in my life again last night and was angry, frustrated and at a loss for what to do with this relationship. All I can do is continue to have grace and forgiveness toward this person and ask God for the strength to continue to do this.

I claim a new phase in my life, I give the old to God. I look forward to greater challenges that will please the Father and not be self indulging. I hope to serve God wholly and lovingly through and with my church community. I claim blessings from God in His time. Lord wreck my life to make it fully yours, please grant me clarity and strength in the things that I struggle with, hope in the things I can not be in control of (which is pretty much every thing). I claim the love of Christ as mine and as my task to share with all I come in contact with. I praise my Creator and Savior for this life, grace, mercy, forgiveness and His blessings.