Musica

I have for years identified with the words or the sounds conveyed by musical artist in my more years the promises of God have been brought to life through the words of others and often that which I wish that I could express are also expressed through others.

Lately in church the worship that has been choosen is not evoking a response but is voicing that which I can not articulate. And thus I am humbled and torn my heart breaking and rejoicing, crying out to our Lord and feeling His prescence and joy in these times. Previously I was responding to the music and then God; you know how a beat can move you to dance throw your hands out or sing along, which is all good and still in celebration but I was not fully in it. But recently I feel like some one has looked into my heart and has taken a sample of where I am at with my faith and my relience on God in my life. Expressing the relationship that I desire, the joy and peace that I covet, the pain that I am carring instead of burying, the love that I so despeartly pine for and the anguish of my sins and the consiquences that have had on me on others. I see Jesus on the cross for every ill word that I have spoken, every lustful thought or action I have taken part in, every lie big or small, every glare or sigh in frustration, fear and anger that I let consume me, every indescretion self absorded behavior that I exhibit. And yet by God's grace He forgiven me all of these things and died for me. I truly truly do not deserve this I know that deserving is not what it is about but my God what you have done for me.

A song that I have been really conected to right now that is truly conveying what my heart desires is below:

NEEDTOBREATHE - Something Beautiful

In your ocean, I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashin' on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
But I can't figure out, yeah I can't figure out

Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your tide rushes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will ya let me drown, will ya let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

And the water is risin' quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side, no I can't leave your side

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful

In a daydream, I couldn't live like thisI wouldn't stop until I found something beautiful
When I wake up, I know I will have
No, I still won't have what I need

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire, 'cause I just want something beautiful
To touch me, I know that I'm in reach
'Cause I am down on my knees, I'm waiting for something beautiful
Oh, something beautiful (fade out)